What a boreed day.....

Wow, I actually went to school today, and I dont know why I go to school. To me now its a waste of time. Got nothing to do also. Whats the point man??? Maybe if I did full time homeschooling would be much better. Can concentrate on my music, but have to study also. Anyway, I'll just let God do what He wants me to do, cause really dont know what to do already. Its like there're alot of things in mind, but actually when you try to do it, you'll feel like there's really nothing much to do. Why do ppl want to pretend so much?? I'm still bothered by this since last year although I know now its a new year, a new beginning and all, but it just keep popping up in my mind for no reason. What can I do?? I cant concentrate on what my goals are for this year. My mind simply just slips away from my goals and thinking about stuff which does not benefit me. I feel so so so stupid. I really really want to study hard and to achieve my goals. But something just keeps me from achieving it. I hate it man!!! Why wanna stop me from it?? For now, I'll just have to wait for God's calling....cant do much...hmmmT_T But I really dont want to waste any more time cause I've wasted alot of time. Well, can only blame myself for not being hardworking, I need to be extra hardworking now. Need to!! Arrgghh!! Stupid stuffs!! I wont blog alot from today cause need to study, study, study....hope God will do something, but I'll be patient and wait for His answer about whats His plans for me.....>.< *wondering why most of the things often go wrong in my life...lots of things*